Un Mot Sur Un Mur Silencieux

I have so many ambiguous feelings.

2011-02-16T12:59:00.000-08:00

I do. But then I guess everybody does. It doesn't concern me at all because of the fact that I can utterly accept human beings (including myself) as both undemanding and difficult individuals. So I realize that one day I am going to understand things, the obvious and obscure and then there are going to be the days that I don't understand the simplest things.

Lately, I've been thinking of how important it is to be able to make a clear conscious decision! Instead of choosing what to do, is it so bad to choose to go through with both of the options presented to you (especially if both options require the same momentum). Sure you'd be splitting your time and resources and could possibly encounter two contradicted results but if you work hard at both you could possibly end up with two good results.

Is it not worth the time to try to do two things that are both possible to do instead of completely eliminating one thing that you may really want?

Some people may say that this is self-indulgence and that you should just stick to one thing to ensure victory. However, if we look at artists, very rarely do artists ever stick completely to one form of art and this is a definite plus. It allows them to express themselves in a variety of ways. It allows them to be free and open with their emotions and to show their hidden beauty. They rarely ever make the decision to be one dimensional or two dimensional when it comes to expressing their desires. Instead they combine a variety of their choices and take hold of their passions and display passion.

Maybe I'm just being weird.

Ma tulipe premiere de l'année

2010-02-10T02:50:00.000-08:00

"C'est ce genre d'une valeur intrinsèquement intégrés dans l'esprit de l'humain. Une particularité très spéciale est accordée au fait le premier.

Avec cette notion, permettez-moi de vous présenter la tulipe premiere de la saison"

Spotting the first tulip in my front yard gave me a quiet excitement after returning from a very tiring walk.

Amman Last night

2010-01-18T02:45:00.000-08:00

DORITOS !! because you admired The thoughts
thank you

Both Sides Now!

2010-01-17T13:26:00.000-08:00

Lyrics | Joni Mitchell - Both Sides Now lyrics

une autre chose !!!

2009-10-03T01:10:00.000-07:00

Fair Face à des défis si vous les avez choisi ou non , est en cours de discussion autour des tables de cuisine, dans les salles de pause, et parmi les amis qui cherchent des façons de composer avec leur situation actuelle, C'est une question de vie que vous devez absolument être capable de répondre
J'espère que ma langue va m'aider à le ecrire d'une manière qui ne sera pas la surcharge de la vie des autres avec des détails sans signification.

Yohooo

June 30, 2009

2009-06-29T15:21:00.000-07:00

A twist of fate !!!!!

god bless all the Fuckers !!!

what if !!!

2009-06-10T10:12:00.000-07:00

What if you slept? And what if, in your sleep, you dreamed? And what if in your dream, you went to heaven and there you plucked a strange and beautiful flower? And what if, when you awoke, you had the flower in your hand? Ah, what then?

what if you're really there, !!!

what if i can see through the cracks, and what if you're right the first time!!!

what if the sky blew away !!!

what if i find my passion first !!!

what if i don't have three copies !!!

what if blue turns out to be green !!!

what if am not really broke !!!

What IF!!!!

un pont

2009-05-27T23:03:00.000-07:00

Dernièrement, je préfère les histoires plus que jamais , comme une petite fille je peut oublier le monde entire quand je rencontre quelqu'un a la capacité de raconter des histoires, tout stupide histoires, il suscite mon esprit à se concentrer, j'ai essayé d'écrire une histoire qui pourrait me sortir de cette grave ou de l'humeur (humeur dramatiques que j'ai développé au cours de la dernière année, ou je voulais avoir toutes les histoires en un seul, pour résumer tous les petits détails de l'amer "du présent, passé et futur »et construire une clôture autour de ces illusions les emballer dans une enveloppe .

Mais entre le lâche Howard et de la quasi-chevalier, j'ai perdu mon courage d'écrire,

ils disent la fin heureuse sont toujours des histoires pour les enfants

"Je ne suis pas là" un film que j'ai emprunté à un ami il ya deux mois, tout à fait grand film de tous les aspects, mais ce qui m'a le plus étonné, c'est que le silence qui enveloppe les scènes, vivement le spectacle de musique et de vie des autres, où que les paroles ont été de reformuler le même silence à plusieurs reprises, celui queje tente de fuir, j'ai été très calme, en respectant les observer, et se demandent quelle est la finalité de cette!

[note à moi même] Ne jamais essayer de créer quelque chose de nouveau, coz vous manquera;

غمغمة عربية :)

2009-04-27T14:05:00.000-07:00

لو لم يكن الحب يوما أساس كل شيء حقيقي,
فمن أين جاءت تلك القصور الأثرية؟ كيف بنيت؟
و كيف غدت رماداً منثوراً على جدران ذاكرتنا,
حقائق منسية أو مهترئة
,و كيف يستطيع البعض,البعض منّا,
تجاهلها برغبة في العيش؟؟... فما هو العيش إذاً؟
أبحث عن إجابة مقنعة لسؤال مفقود في مدينة جاهلة تعتبر الاثار ركاما
كما أشعر أنني أتحدث لغة ليست بلغتي

Passage

2009-02-26T14:05:00.000-08:00

Some people need help, some need to be forgiven... Others need to go jail!! As you might also add, some need to forgive themselves!! but come to think of it, that's not true, no one can really be that harsh on himself ...

as a matter of fact, she didn't need help nor forgiveness, she knew that SHE doesn’t deserve to go to jail or punish herself, she only needed time & freedom together; as one solid unit, so she can draw that unknown beautiful story of a lifetime!! unfortunately she failed to do that alone, and she knows that as a fact, because she only got time and he got freedom, and considering the reciprocal theory that he always tries to play , he might be the one who got the time factor and she got the freedom.

she got time to realize that everything is a repetition; even that definition of happiness that she once denied, She got time to free all the enchained stories from her past , to be able to think simply and to consider him as a great opportunity to start all over again , simple and determined,!!she also got time to see him as a normal human being, and to catch that spark in his eyes that promised her heaven, new era, and Freedom, time to understand his words, time to comprehend his mind. but unfortunately , she didn't give him time to realize that she’s not taking his freedom away ; that she’s not gonna draw that story of a lifetime alone , that she’s gonna be with him ,in the soul of any idea that might cross his mind which can easily fade away.

it is her fault that she didn't give him time to realize that she’s the most normacrazy person he will ever meet, she didn't tell him that all the things she once considered obstacles or rules were not supposed to be his too ; coz he is simply free
Yet the most important question would be; does she have to consider herself guilty coz he didn’t know that fact, that he is free, since ages, that he is secure and can take decisions, that she can be the key to anything he wants.
Sadly, she failed to give him that too, and now she feels sorry, for it breeds discontent, disrespect and a lack of trust. ... While her own cause was simply not to watch him silently deviating very far away from his beautiful self,trying to go back to that cold, dark cave , where he used to freeze that urge of change;
…It made him look like a complete stranger, the thing that made her defense savage, but she was sure it’s lucid …

“P.S. I will let go just as you wanted!”

the pillow fight !!!

2009-02-24T12:58:00.000-08:00

I AM SICK ... SICK & TIRED OF EVERYTHING .. SERIOUSLY !!!!

I NEEEEEED A breaaaaaaaaakkkkkkkkkkkkkk !!!! a very long break ..

on being stupid !

2009-02-21T12:58:00.000-08:00

it's all part of being a free spirit

once again !!!

2009-02-15T12:56:00.000-08:00

"nobody is really done for as long as you have a good story to tell and someone to listen," - T.D.1900.

Asia II

2009-01-20T22:15:00.000-08:00

…I am confused and clear as I write this letter, feeling inside reeling with the kind of uncertainty, I felt two days ago, the queasiness in your stomach, driving you nuts, so just half of you just want to run away or just hold me, have everything all straightened out again, and it grosses me out to be writing this kind of letter, the letter that is a reflection of a faulty love.

So

We’ve talked about minds, minds going in circles, minds following defined tracks, etched in space loops of “ where is my keys?” or “ do I fit there?” the loop that I have traced so far, so often in this life, the warm place on the carpet, “ is he flirting with other girls?”.

…I made up rules so that you would have to break them, and know I am doing it too much to even really get upset when it happens. So that my setups for being able to have that miracle were always destroyed by the impossibility of working up righteous indignation when I knew I had set impossible rules…

But, Who cares? This is me reveling in this moment that “ I loved you” but I hardly know you anymore, and maybe if you love someone else, it will just be thrilling part of your bad boy appeal .

And now I’ve got to go to work, and you will never, ever, in a million years, see through this letter.

Because mostly what I want to say is good luck for being a person again, and this was all about documenting these minutes, seconds, and days.

When I found you again, found in you the excitement of not knowing, and the adventure of it all… but I can’t wait to go back in same circles…

Asia

2009- The Fine Details in the Lush of Night

2009-01-01T12:50:00.003-08:00

In This Year ... 2009

Under that old tree …

“Stop all the clocks, cut off the telephone,
Prevent the dog from barking with a juicy bone,
Silence the pianos and with muffled drum
Bring out the coffin, let the mourners come.

Let aeroplanes circle moaning overhead
Scribbling on the sky the message He Is Dead,
Put crepe bows round the white necks of the public doves,
Let the traffic policemen wear black cotton gloves.

He was my North, my South, my East and West,
My working week and my Sunday rest,
My noon, my midnight, my talk, my song;
I thought that love would last forever: I was wrong.

The stars are not wanted now: put out every one;
Pack up the moon and dismantle the sun;
Pour away the ocean and sweep up the wood.
For nothing now can ever come to any good” W. H. Auden

Stories from the city

-1-

All the dawns were the same, except for that one, she woke up 10 years younger, with a teenage girl’s mind, her mind was going back to basics; fresh and pure, and certain of the logic behind its visions. She remembered how she used to trust men, religious men who prayed 5 times and worked hard for the rest of the day, Men with bags in their hands coming back home, men with the simplest traces of life and peace on their faces.

She also recalled that distant dream that had kept her alive over the years, to return to the basic rules of happiness. The ones she knew very well yet couldn’t have, and as she recalled all these small details, she realized that life is hard without any slight justification..

Her parents were emotionally in love, but mentally!!!!!Both of them failed to imagine establishing a family. That’s why it developed naturally on its own..

Their buds that were supposed to grow and shape the road to their future, actually ended their lives. Still the most important things she remembered was the way she used to see things. There weren’t that many colors in her visions, only red and yellow.

-2-

As a little girl she used to fear death. Her reason for that was that she wasn’t certain she can find bananas in heaven, and she thought her family would easily forget her and would be able to enjoy bananas without her, while she, as their guardian angel, watched jealously.

Now, after all these years, the same phobia of death still haunts her, but for a different reason; she can’t imagine a heaven without his breath. And the image of him walking alone or with anyone else makes her death seem so painful

-3-

She: I want you to promise me two things for 2009 !

Me: sure , what?

She: first thing , don’t be harsh on yourself next year !! as you can see , it’s not doing you any good !

Me: ….

She: second thing, if one day you decide to ruin our friendship , just tell me , so I don’t keep on trying to fix it .

Me: speechless !!!

-4-

She’s knocking on strangers’ doors, slightly thick that her tiny little hands were getting hurt as she’s trying in vain to open one of them at least,

the dust that was coming back to life because of her constant and heavy knocking started to dance in front of her eyes , and suddenly she saw that look on his face as he used to mock her naive mind that used to make her believe that her mind will never be useful , and nothing will change !!!

-5-

Sis: how is X doing?

Me: I don’t know , I haven’t heard about him for years ! I guess he got married !

Sis: got married!!! , I don’t think so

Me: what makes you say that? He is supposed to be very wealthy now , he’s living with his family , and everything is supposed to work fine with him ,he lacks nothing .. Duh !!!:)

Sis: he lacks the character!!!!!as he Always will!!!!!!

-6-

Uncle: what is wrong with your mind?

Me: I guess I’m a little unwell , I will be ok , I just need time

Uncle: collect your pieces and keep on walking my flower !!!

-7-

She: I need to runaway!

He: where to?

She: anywhere, I need to be alone for a while! Let’s play this game

He: what game?

She: run & hide, and start searching!

He: but am not good at this game!!

She: you see you don’t know me!! I need it

He: I know you better than you think… run and hide :(

She: don’t be sad, let’s start !:)

He: I told you I’m a bad player. I used to hide right behind the guy counting, then tap him on the right shoulder and come from his left . & when I count I wait 4 people to come :)

Take all the time in the world, but when I find you , I’ll give you 2 slaps u need to wakeup…& I’ll slap everyone I see till I find you :(

She: :)

He: ah.. and I’ll be waiting outside your house :) one day I will eat your stupid mind !!!

-8-

She closed her eyes and listened to the sound of a haunting horn coming from the depths of distant forests. There were paths in those forests; her father stood on one of them. Smiling and inviting her to join him …

There is a certain quantitative border that must not be crossed , yet no one stands guard over it and perhaps no one even realizes that it exists …

Fears & challenges from underground

2008-12-29T04:35:00.000-08:00

Before

After

The Wake-up Call

2008-11-26T21:05:00.000-08:00

For how long she thought she’s not blind
Now she’s certain she’s been following the handicapped
And as the light comes to another light
The road appears less flat
Dirty road, yet very clean!
For people’s shadows have been washed out
People were different, even so
It’s not a mere confusing dream

For how could they manage to escape
That naive ugly uniform that used to shape
The -what so called- self-esteem
To judge those folks, she will be blamed
For she has no shadow and they must be obeyed

And as she remembers those old days
When she used to follow the shadows in her ways
The shadow follows the weight they say
but her city has knighted the fray

She’s now certain; her city lost its weight
For The one and the plenty, did lose their ways

And as she knows she can’t carry on
She tried so hard to focus
On that seldom-seen
Where the trees -since so long-
have lost their green

Weird thoughts were running
In and out of her mind
and As she was trying hard
To shape them in beautiful lyrics
The darkness colored the sky
-slightly different by then-
Too dark, yet too bright

Vertigo

2008-10-26T12:40:00.001-07:00

…Anyone whose goal is “something higher” must expect someday to suffer vertigo. What is vertigo? Fear of falling? Then why do we feel it even when the observation tower comes equipped with a sturdy handrail? No, vertigo is something other than the fear of falling. It is the voice of the emptiness below us which tempts and lures us. It is the desire to fall, against which, terrified, we defend ourselves.

"...Several hours after the decision she had made, she fell in the street and injured her knee. She began to teeter as she walked, fell almost daily, bumped into things or, at the very least, dropped objects.

She was in the grip of an insuperable longing to fall. She lived in constant state of vertigo"

“ Pick me up ,” is the message of a person who keeps falling …

"the unbearable lightness of being "
Milan Kundera

Tod or Tom

2008-10-24T12:31:00.000-07:00

"today the whole world is going financially broke, maybe next year the world would actually end "
let's run away then , before the world !!!

Before the Dawn

2008-10-13T20:04:00.001-07:00

Well, it’s 4 am in the morning, and I can’t sleep, I light up a cigarette, and all I can smell is Jasmine, clear and Strong!!! Is it a new dawn??? Is it possible to smell the Jasmine in The Dark before the Dawn…
Who knows?? God is so generous!!

Une Prière

2008-09-22T15:34:00.000-07:00

Cher Seigneur,
Maintenant, après je l'ai tout laissé de côté, m'aidez à trouver ma paix, je besoin de lui cette fois, plus que jamais ..
Comme vous pouvez le voir, je clos tout aimé et je voulais tellement y compris moi-même ...

…votre miséricorde !!! car je ne sais pas ce que je veux plus ...semblement J'ai été recherche de la paix en enfer

Renforcez mes pieds pour marcher ... Je ne veux pas jouer plus de jeux , Pardonnez-moi pour que j'ai péché il ya longtemps,

Seigneur, sauvez mon frère et mes sœurs dans le ciel, s'il vous plaît ne les laissez pas voir que j'ai vu ou senti, Je vous mendicité...

…Montrez-moi vos lumières, j'ai besoin d'eux sur mon visage pour visualiser la route ..
Si l'argent permettrait de sauver ma petite famille, s'il vous plaît donnez-moi plus
Si l'amour permettrait de sauver ma petite famille, envoyez-moi plus des anges
Si mon esprit permettrait de sauver ma petite famille, aidez-moi à le trouver.

car tout que je veux pour leur ,seigneur, est de vivre dans la dignité et la paix , Je ne peux pas les sauver tout seu, acceptez s'il vous plaît

je suis déçu car le néant que j'ai été vivant est très laid, avec de fausses couleurs .. J'ai besoin de vraies couleurs,

Merci

Deema

......................................................

2008-09-03T12:16:00.000-07:00

My peace is worth a thousand times more than anything I own.

Cholera!!!!!

2008-08-07T13:14:00.000-07:00

It starts with a word on a wall, then a word in your mouth,
with a ray of light …passing the sky without your permission, Catching the glance of your eyes, stirring your inner beauty to come to life, when you wake up early in the morning, just to challenge your ability to live one more day ,
when you don’t visualize the warning signs on the long road.
It also starts when you hear your favorite song on the radio, not recalling when, why and who!!!what where and for how long ?!!!!
when you run faster than time dragging yourself to that moment where you believe that you’re actually flying...then You fall down and you smell your own blood, discovering that your blood is not actually red…

...

...It starts with poetry that you think it has been written for you, to speak up the words on your lips, to light up your flames and hide your disability to speak beautifully.

...when you magnify your own feelings,shaping lions , riding them, and preparing yourself for the battle to come, trying to convince yourself of your existence every day, and every night, The “yes, why not, try”! are actually encouraging your mind, giving you some more space to feel& cry, even if you're done with your lies, you still want more lies and illusions in your life, more and more, and you become even more pale.

It gets worse when you feel happy and content once again, coz you start wondering if that’s real happiness,are you cured?? Really cured , is this your real beauty!!, or mere sheets covering your soul?,is this your pure mind??or simply mislead by the light?...

then you realize,when you try to runaway, that you’re only wasting more and more time, while you're badly infected, the same bloody matters that you’re trying to escape, are screaming inside you .... like the entire world is covered in your blood, something dreadful is running inside your body, everyday, every night… everywhere, and all the time.

and finally when you comprehend what's the real meaning of cholera, and you try to tune your inner innocent soul into those stolen moments, where you managed to escape your pain, dreaming of their fruits, with or without the running engine, with or without the autumn’s breeze, it doesn't matter!!!

then you find yourself in situations where you are cornered into having to say you can do something, while you can’t..you really can't...

the how pure! How beautiful, keeps your eyes open, not being able to sleep, for you're now living inside your own cell, before you obey the yellow wind.…
and it only ends when you let go that yellow bubble.. sadly watching it shrinking and disappearing , and you realize how ridiculous, limited, and disappointing the cholera of love can be…

you simply throw it up!!! So it ends just to start once again...

Asia!!

2008-07-18T01:07:00.000-07:00

...They say that the shortest distance between two points is a line, imagine this line is a string, with both of them; she pictures that string, always connecting them.

...Here’s where things get confusing, sometimes when they are very close, it’s almost as if that string connecting them is tangled, snarled, and even wrapped around other people, other things.

Then she feels close to him, but confused, tangled up, inside her feelings for him, and all the extra love spilling around him, involving everyone around them.

Now let’s say there is more space between them, and then the line is straight, and tensed, but so far away, what to do?

Even when she writes to him, she pictures herself and pictures him, pictures his response, which makes her nervous, and unsure, still she doesn’t trust his ability to maintain the same tension, under different kinds of pressure, but she loves him.

The other point is no more there, and neither the line nor the string, and the tension goes back to infinity, though she knows that, it doesn’t bother her or trap her, in fact it makes her feel better, and wants to sleep, but when she wakes up, she’ll be more careful.

how funny the Drama of physics can be:)

Ma

2008-07-16T03:27:00.001-07:00

I have kept my faith,

though faith was tried,

to that rock-born, rock wandering foot,

and the world's altered since you died,

and i am in no good repute

with the loud host before the sea,

that think sword-strokes were

better meant than lover's music- let that be,

so that the wandering foot's content

let me just rest a while with you, rumple my head into your chest, feel your fingers tangled up in my hair, until finally i fall asleep, and this ache in my jaw and fog in my head fade away for a moment of clean breathing and peaceful dreams.

there is something to be said on basic human kindness, in any shape or form, but only you, kept deep in my memory, without me being able to describe you!! or to forget your last words

" she had died, the one that ,only, for her sake i was protecting you"

to stop looking for something, i will never have..
for how am i fallen from myself,
for a long time now,
i have not seen the prince of change in my dreams!! ...
coz In dreams begins responsibility
it was Monday and now it's Wednesday ...
days are changing and life goes on...
god bless your soul Ma and i will move on...

A Moment

2008-07-03T06:01:00.000-07:00

the yellow sun came near the rose of yellow , to smell its breath..

Quite Rose ..

near and near ..

was it the rose that started to breathe or the yellow burning sun that came so near..

suddenly the rose of yellow started to move.. closer and closer

was it a desire for intimacy

or an act of kindness !!!

the yellow sun leaned over the rose of yellow and kissed its eyes...

the rose of yellow with its lazy eyes twitched and opened..

and with the spell frozen on its lips...

ran away...

the confused yellow sun started to pray

for that rose to be saved

from that burning kiss

Youth

2008-07-02T09:15:00.001-07:00

the Blessing by Youth Voice

well, today i learned a new word , in fact, it's a new hidden enemy that i must be aware of..
Waithood , which equals to a wasted youth ...

there is always enough time to learn ; said by a wise friend

Silly Girl vs Silly Thoughts

2008-06-29T14:47:00.000-07:00

…My coffee’s getting cold as I wait for you to show up. Will you; won’t you, won’t you; won’t you jump in “my bunny rabbit”???

…From now on I’m going to concentrate on my roses…my white roses…

…You are riding by on your bicycle, you see the lights, hear the music, you can’t help it, you have to stop… so you do… but what happens after this??? no talk.. only silence talks ...Forever Silly, Silly Silly Silly, Long nights and happy, slow days and sad, drawing and painting , dancing and singing, becoming a famous artist, among a small group of innocents… all these things together in one beautiful tangled mess that draws our future …

…Of course this is a crazy talk?? What do you expect !!! I don’t love you , but it’s possible I could, and that you could ..

People believe that love is about humiliation, maybe they are right, at least that idea allows me to rest here, giving me some space that has to do with saying crazy, stupid things and not minding. But above all , I won’t forget how cute you can be…

Do you Understand? i previously know the answer ... Silly Girl!!!!

chocolate

2008-06-24T10:15:00.000-07:00

Without any desire to wake up i laid down on my bed, trying without hope to shutdown that horrible scene on the ceiling.... I rushed to the fridge searching for something to eat , something to make me feel alive, to bring me back to life.

Trying to figure out what’s really wrong with me.i have suddenly lost my passion... Is it a curse??!!!i don't really know.

The moon has disappeared few days ago.. And never came back.. Vanished without any single trace.....and Ever since the wind blew through my turbulent mind I wonder who I will be dreaming of. I have no desire to eat, sleep, nor tell my little stories…

The entire household has fallen into a stunned sleep, While i was eating a MARS bar, I realized something that may sound cheesy; I’ve been made of chocolate... And in chocolate I should dissolve...

Out Of Time

2008-06-15T13:24:00.000-07:00

"LET us go then, you and I,
When the evening is spread out against the sky
Like a patient etherised upon a table;
Let us go, through certain half-deserted streets,
The muttering retreats
Of restless nights in one-night cheap hotels
And sawdust restaurants with oyster-shells:
Streets that follow like a tedious argument
Of insidious intent
To lead you to an overwhelming question …
Oh, do not ask, “What is it?”
Let us go and make our visit.

In the room the women come and go
Talking of Michelangelo.

The yellow fog that rubs its back upon the window-panes,
The yellow smoke that rubs its muzzle on the window-panes
Licked its tongue into the corners of the evening,
Lingered upon the pools that stand in drains,
Let fall upon its back the soot that falls from chimneys,
Slipped by the terrace, made a sudden leap,
And seeing that it was a soft October night,
Curled once about the house, and fell asleep.

And indeed there will be time
For the yellow smoke that slides along the street,
Rubbing its back upon the window-panes;
There will be time, there will be time
To prepare a face to meet the faces that you meet;
There will be time to murder and create,
And time for all the works and days of hands
That lift and drop a question on your plate;
Time for you and time for me,
And time yet for a hundred indecisions,
And for a hundred visions and revisions,
Before the taking of a toast and tea.

In the room the women come and go
Talking of Michelangelo.

And indeed there will be time
To wonder, “Do I dare?” and, “Do I dare?”
Time to turn back and descend the stair,
With a bald spot in the middle of my hair—
[They will say: “How his hair is growing thin!”]
My morning coat, my collar mounting firmly to the chin,
My necktie rich and modest, but asserted by a simple pin—
[They will say: “But how his arms and legs are thin!”]
Do I dare
Disturb the universe?
In a minute there is time
For decisions and revisions which a minute will reverse.

For I have known them all already, known them all:—
Have known the evenings, mornings, afternoons,
I have measured out my life with coffee spoons;
I know the voices dying with a dying fall
Beneath the music from a farther room.
So how should I presume?

And I have known the eyes already, known them all—
The eyes that fix you in a formulated phrase,
And when I am formulated, sprawling on a pin,
When I am pinned and wriggling on the wall,
Then how should I begin
To spit out all the butt-ends of my days and ways?
And how should I presume?

And I have known the arms already, known them all—
Arms that are braceleted and white and bare
[But in the lamplight, downed with light brown hair!]
It is perfume from a dress
That makes me so digress?
Arms that lie along a table, or wrap about a shawl.
And should I then presume?
And how should I begin? . . . . .
Shall I say, I have gone at dusk through narrow streets
And watched the smoke that rises from the pipes
Of lonely men in shirt-sleeves, leaning out of windows?…

I should have been a pair of ragged claws
Scuttling across the floors of silent seas. . . . . .
And the afternoon, the evening, sleeps so peacefully!
Smoothed by long fingers,
Asleep … tired … or it malingers,
Stretched on the floor, here beside you and me.
Should I, after tea and cakes and ices,
Have the strength to force the moment to its crisis?
But though I have wept and fasted, wept and prayed,
Though I have seen my head [grown slightly bald] brought in upon a platter,
I am no prophet—and here’s no great matter;
I have seen the moment of my greatness flicker,
And I have seen the eternal Footman hold my coat, and snicker,
And in short, I was afraid.

And would it have been worth it, after all,
After the cups, the marmalade, the tea,
Among the porcelain, among some talk of you and me,
Would it have been worth while,
To have bitten off the matter with a smile,
To have squeezed the universe into a ball
To roll it toward some overwhelming question,
To say: “I am Lazarus, come from the dead,
Come back to tell you all, I shall tell you all”—
If one, settling a pillow by her head,
Should say: “That is not what I meant at all.
That is not it, at all.”

And would it have been worth it, after all,
Would it have been worth while,
After the sunsets and the dooryards and the sprinkled streets,
After the novels, after the teacups, after the skirts that trail along the floor—
And this, and so much more?—
It is impossible to say just what I mean!
But as if a magic lantern threw the nerves in patterns on a screen:
Would it have been worth while
If one, settling a pillow or throwing off a shawl,
And turning toward the window, should say:
“That is not it at all,
That is not what I meant, at all.” . . . . .
No! I am not Prince Hamlet, nor was meant to be;
Am an attendant lord, one that will do
To swell a progress, start a scene or two,
Advise the prince; no doubt, an easy tool,
Deferential, glad to be of use,
Politic, cautious, and meticulous;
Full of high sentence, but a bit obtuse;
At times, indeed, almost ridiculous—
Almost, at times, the Fool.

I grow old … I grow old …
I shall wear the bottoms of my trousers rolled.

Shall I part my hair behind? Do I dare to eat a peach?
I shall wear white flannel trousers, and walk upon the beach.
I have heard the mermaids singing, each to each.

I do not think that they will sing to me.

I have seen them riding seaward on the waves
Combing the white hair of the waves blown back
When the wind blows the water white and black.

We have lingered in the chambers of the sea
By sea-girls wreathed with seaweed red and brown
Till human voices wake us, and we drown."" ....

pick one!!!

2008-05-28T13:30:00.000-07:00

Beauty with Love
"Soft and sensitive mask"

Beauty with hatred
"hard but also easily broken mask"

Adaptation
" long lasting,and also very practical mask"

and now ... look at your mirror and pick one!!

on a memorial bench

2008-05-14T14:14:00.000-07:00

She: I had a dream last night…

He: tell me about it…

She: I don’t want to…

He: come on.. I will buy you chocolate..just tell me

She: I was sad..

He: so go ahead , tell me..

She: forget it , I’m not ganna tell you

He: just try to describe it

She: no…

He: please …

She: told you.. I don’t want to tell you..

He: :(

She: what’s wrong?

He: nothing, I’m just jealous about your dream, I wish I was there in your dream, so I don’t need to beg you to talk..

She: but you were ..

He: really? And you were sad!!!

She: yeah

He: why? What did I do? Please tell me?

She: “ and now I have to move on with my life with the people who love me , I have to follow them, and I have to say good bye now” you said these words to me…

He: then sleep again , till you’re done with these dreams, coz am not going anywhere …

She: but am afraid to sleep again..

He: nothing to fear..

She: I need to ask a question!!

He: sure..

She: In terms of destinations, define yourself?

He: huh? This is very serious ..what do you want to know exactly…

She: you..

He: but you don’t define yourself in terms of destinations..at least that’s not what I do…

She: but these were your words the other day!” That you don’t move forward unless you know your next destination”!!!!

He: no.. that’s not true ..I'm not the destinations I want to reach, I am the thoughts I have , I’m not the actions I do, I’m the feelings that trigger me.. can you understand what I mean?

She: I think so.. you are a theory after all!!!

He: no honey, the theory defines me, my actions and paths are only coincidental..they say nothing about who I am !!

She: but what about your actions? Targets that you have to achieve to satisfy yourself???

He: that’s just stupid.. what you do is irrelevant.. what you want to do is what you truly are…

She: and what do you want to do?

He: I still have no clear idea ..i want to change the world !! to make it a better place, to help other people.. to give someone the reason to smile... I don’t really know

She: then you’re still Nothing!!!

He: maybe!!

She: don’t be sad! I’m sorry…

He: you don’t need to apologize!!

She: you want your peace back??

He: no silly I want you back !!

She: in your dream??no I don’t want to go back to that dream…

He: no .. I want you back next to me ..talking..saying everything ..all at once ..untill nothing makes sense .. I don’t want you to be cautious, afraid , or whatever you like to call it..

She: and where can I find that spot?

He: I can’t explain anymore…

She: as you like…I will go to sleep now.. and I won’t try to change you anymore..

He: sleep, and we will meet again, and by the way..you can’t change what I see as perfect!!!

She: but before I sleep.. I want to finish that book…to reach the end of that story…

He: then finish it..

She: but something bad will happen…

He: why do you say that?

She: that’s true, once I finish that book , the spell will be broken..

He: then don’t finish it, don’t read it, do something else, something that won’t end badly…

She: why?

He: what? i just don’t want anything bad to happen! Is that too much to ask?!!

She: why are you connected to me that way? As if you know me for years, while in fact we barely know each other in this land…

He: I don’t know …can you tell me?

She: mmmm maybe I’m your mother in real life????

He: does that book end this way?????

She ( smiling ) : YEAH !!!!!

He: then burn that stupid book and dance instead!!!!

….

Days

2008-05-03T09:14:00.000-07:00

Day 1

Day 2

Day 3

Jeu de rôle(I)

2008-03-21T13:20:00.000-07:00

quand il était jeune son coeur a été consommé dans les désirs, comme un petit bourgeon, alors il a fleuri à un oiseau, un bel oiseau ,dans une cage, qu'il a commencé à voler loin , il n'a pas été détaché de cet cage encore, car il était sûr, cela il devrait errer le ciel. et alors revenir...

jour par jour, la cage est allé plus petit pour son séjour, il était confus, rester??, laisser?? il a pleuré, et a ri, pas en raison du bonheur ou tristesse, comme un amoureux qui a tracé une ligne dans l'amour et puis l'a omis...

..au bout. il s'est rendu compte qu'il est tombé amoureux de le ciel..ainsi il a gauche son cage......

alors le vent a commencé au shap son corps, et par temps il a débarqué à la terre..un prince charmant...

...il voyageait tous les jours..il est tombé amoureux de tous les anges qu'il a rencontrés...

.......le repos est toujours inconnu.......

Alors...

2008-03-15T11:53:00.000-07:00

ces étaient des pensées originales....Mais

ce qui si c'est aussi bon qu'il obtient.....!

...

The Virtual Knight

2008-03-02T13:00:00.000-08:00

...The war had ended and he no longer desired to live. He packed his stuff, carrying along his last pack of cigarettes, heading to the mountains, planning to end his journey, singing all the songs he knew along the way, till he wouldn't recall any...

he sat on the top of the mountain, looked down at the valley, and lit up his first cigarette burning all his fears to ashes, then the second, sending away all the images of the war, the third was flaming, glowing, seemingly refusing to burn to ashes....
..it was his stolen soul that he wanted to burn, but it wouldn't....so he picked up his bag, headed down to his valley again, for he knew for sure that he should find his soul first, in order to burn it...

..Walking amid the crowded streets, carrying all his burdens, along with memories that never belonged to him, he heard a warm voice; a stranger asking a passerby where she can find a Hotel.

Unaware of the distance, he rushed to her, and interrupted the conversation, pretending to be also looking for the same thing....The man just finished pointing that stranger to a hotel, so he gave the knight the awkward look and left without answering him.

Trying to avoid his embarrassment, he turned his eyes to the owner of that warm voice, so he can ask her instead and scrutinize her image closer, he was face to face with that isolated woman, he felt the magic in her eyes.

Unconsciously, he seized her hand, and started to run away from the crowds, telling her that he was going to show her all the beauty, and kept on running, without her being able to speak. she followed him, as if they were trying to find a shelter to hide, until he felt his sweaty hand unable to carry the burden of his dream....thus he decided to release her hand, and kept on running alone... ..she stood there, surprised at what she had been through, staring at him disappearing in the void. “Who are you?” she shouted....
Looking around, she was in front of the City Hotel..

...Trying to forget that she had been lost among the dead, she left her room, searching for her knight among the dead eyes in the backyard ...

It happened when she finally found couple of eyes radiating the spark of life; she stood still, Afraid, it might be another dream, an illusion, so she decided to figure it out.....

...extending her arms wide and long in the air, waiting for those eyes to crawl into her own, unify with her vision... trying to imagine the collision of the other body with hers, and the fall on the dusty ground ,the laugh on their faces afterwards, and his touch removing the dust off her face,happy that he finally found his lost soul ,and her touch on his face, assuring herself again, that he was her lost knight ... her mind was racing with these thoughts...

...Stretching his arms at her, moving forward, her smile was very wide, but rapidly vanished when he passed her by, heading towards other dead eyes behind her...

...She’d just witnessed the last spark of life those eyes would ever give. Her senses had failed her, and she had lost her knight... again...

deformation

2008-03-01T02:23:00.000-08:00

happiness

Reflections

LA D'JO

2008-02-21T13:01:00.000-08:00

" Quand La Ville Fait Son Cirque"

" Meme Pas Peur"

"La Paresse"

"Trio D'Equilibriste"

"Anges Amouraches"

"Trompe Caline"

" Cage Haut perchee"

"Couple D'amoureux"

"Les Balles Contact"

" Le Baise Main"

" La Robe Piano"

" La P'tite Montee"

"L'entreinte"

"Dompteuse D'anneaux"

"A Fil De Peau"

"Tete A Tete"

" Mou De L'altere"

"Contortion Amoureuse"

" Colonne Dix"

"Equilibre Sur Boule"

"La Femme Canon"

" Sur An Air De Cirque"

"Mon Cheri"

"La D'JO s'inspire du monde du spectacle telle la musique, la danse, le théâtre, le cirque: des arts vivants en général. Riches de Personnages huats en couleurs, sa peinture emprunte d'émotions, de tendresse, de charme nous plonge dans des univers de rêve simples, INDIQUES et NAïFs"

Johanna Perdu, even if this is your first visit to Jordan, you have to know that you were so close to destroy the walls of silence in this country, I'm glad that i didn't see any of the natives in your gallery, and from my point of view, your paintings were not simple, not at all!!!!,

6 heures

2008-02-13T09:48:00.000-08:00

je vous aie enterré là, maintenant, je peux manger mes bonbons et dormir.
alors....
....la musique est ma vie dorénavant!

8/02/1993

2008-02-08T09:40:00.000-08:00

God Bless You dad

masques

2008-02-07T04:50:00.000-08:00

....Before you trust me, you should know me! ..Before you count on me, you should allure me. ..Before you slap me, you should know that I won’t forget you. .. Before you leave me alone, you should teach me how to dance, ..Before you love me, look around. .. Before you betray me, touch me, for it will be much heavier on you. ..Before you hate me, think!!!! For I Am the Mask!! ...
..To feed a local radiophone chronicle entitled "a man in crowd", the young person Marcia Jeffries from there will collect the word of prisoners imprisoned in by the sheriff. One of them, Larry Rhodos, agrees to be expressed against a handing-over of sorrow.
The character proves of eloquence and smoothness surprising. He sees himself at once proposing a daily emission which makes a tobacco... his charismatic talent truly takes him along until collapsing under his own filthy desires..... Another mask...."Don't you worry, for I spared you more than you spared yourself"... wow...another mask

"the fact that he was making use of ideas that were not his own is much less remarkable than the fact that he was expressing them in a voice that was not his own"....!!!!!!!!!yes..Another mask

Ignorance & fake self-confidence, which I usually define by charismatic personality, are the most powerful weapons among those folks.
People always get confused in front of such masks....even you; you might get confused with your own-made masks.

Bare the mask,

...je dévoile ma nudité au monde, ainsi le monde peut voir qui je suis ; pas le masque qui cache mes failles, pas le masque qui cache ma beauté. Je me dore dans la lumière et j'enlève le masque ! .

..Hey you ! please don't help them to bury the light !!!!!..

en vente

2008-02-05T16:24:00.000-08:00

la guerre a fini sans moi, je ne me rendais pas compte de ça... je pense que je me suis mise en vente ! ! ! ! comme c'est laid!
je n'ai pas pu finir mon discours !
....vous m'ont vraiment épargné beaucoup plus que je me suis épargné moi-même!!!

voyez-vous ?
...
vous pouvez également mettre vos sentiments en vente !

morale du jour

2008-02-02T12:13:00.000-08:00

n'essayez pas de maîtriser la deuxième scène, parce que chaque scène doit avoir ses propres caractères,

comme ces beaux chapeaux : vous ne saurez jamais votre tour,

n'êtes pas stupide, et ne jouez pas d'autres rôles

il semble que je n'est pas moi-même, je pourrais être intoxiqué,

il est temps de sauter à une autre scène

Je dois être mort

2008-01-27T04:03:00.000-08:00

Je dois être mort,
il ne pourrait pas m'atteindre,
mon dieu,
at-il acheter un chien à m'oublier!!!!!